KAYLEIGH BASTARD PUGET

I woke up the next morning, groggy and disorientated. A deep, hot pain inside me reminded me of what had happened, and a secretive, bashful smile found it's way to my face. I rolled over in bed and saw that Jade was still sleeping, curled up in a protective ball. I ran one finger lightly across his bare shoulder; he stirred a little, sniffling, but didn't wake. I let him sleep on, replaying the night before over and over in my head. Every single burst of pain, as bright and exquisite as the last. Every breath, every scream, every wave of absolute pleasure. I shook my head slightly as the memories became a little too vivid, and touched Jade's shoulder again. He groaned and grumbled and finally opened his eyes. As soon as he saw me, he smiled. The same shy smile on my face was mirrored onto his, and I laughed softly.

"Good morning, beautiful." he whispered, kissing me once on the lips. We lay there for a long time, our hands finding one another and entwining, kissing gently in the fresh morning-light coming through Jade's curtains. I never wanted to move from that spot; being with Jade felt so nice and so right, so perfectly perfect. But he pulled away and made to get out of bed.

"Jade-"

"We have to get up, you know. Does the word 'school' mean anything to you?" he said with a jaunty wink. I laughed a little and shook my head, joking. We got dressed and brushed our teeth together, like a real couple. But my happiness was short-lived; Jade changed completely on the school bus, around his friends. He made comments that he may have thought were jokes, but that hurt me inside. I tried to smile along weakly as he talked loudly about the previous night. I couldn't have forseen this behaviour; it was as if the act hadn't meant anything to him at all. It was like he was just counting up notches on his bedpost and that it wasn't a secret, sensual thing we had together.

I didn't even say goodbye when we got to school, just rushed off to my first lesson with tears in my eyes. I couldn't concentrate however, and couldn't stop myself doodling hearts in my schoolbooks, carefully adding the initials JP in script-like writing. Each time I caught myself doing this, I'd scribble out the heart angrily, causing people around me to stare. I found myself boiling with rage at Jade's attitude towards what had happened; for me, it had been my first time, it had been sensual and perfect and everything I'd hoped. To him it just seemed like a bit of a laugh, nothing more than a game to relay to his friends the morning after. I stood up suddenly, making people stare more, and began to stuff my things into my bag. Muttering something about feeling unwell, I left the classroom and stormed away across the school field. I was going that way, sort of hoping Jade would be skipping lessons and would see me. I didn't cry however; I wasn't going to give him that satisfaction.

"Hey, Davey!" Predictably enough, Jade's voice rang out as I walked past the place where he and his friends goofed off. I didn't even look at him - he could do the running for once. And - to my utmost amazement - he did; he ran after me and grabbed hold of my arm. I turned forcefully and slapped him across the face. The sound echoed around the field and Jade's friends exploded into peals of laughter.

"YOU LOT CAN SHUT THE FUCK UP ASWELL!" I raged, turning to them. They quailed under my furious stare; all of a sudden, I felt extremely powerful. I knew I could do anything I wanted, and wrenched my arm from Jade's slackened grip.

"What the HELL was that for!?" Jade asked; he sounded extremely angry, dangerous even, but I didn't care; my own white-hot anger was pounding in my temples, giving me a headache.

"I think you already know. Or are you really as arrogant as you look?" I asked in a low voice.

"Wh- Oh, right.. The sex, huh?"

"Not the sex. The fact that you went and blabbed off as soon as we got on the bus. Do you not respect anyone's privacy!?"

"Not really, no." Jade said, and I hit him before he had a chance to smile, or laugh, or do something cute that would make me forgive him. This time it wasn't a slap; it was a full-blown punch. He reeled back - I had no idea I had such strength in me! He looked at me venomously, spitting blood from his mouth, and said,

"I thought you wanted it."

"I wanted you!!" I screamed, losing control. "I WANTED YOU, BUT I ALSO WANTED YOU TO KEEP YOUR BIG FAT MOUTH SHUT ABOUT IT!!"

"WELL, SORRY IF I'M PROUD TO BE IN LOVE WITH YOU!!" he screamed back, and I could see his bright eyes getting brighter, realised they were filling with tears. I hated myself for making him cry, but a part of it felt he deserved it.

"Are you done hitting me?" he asked. I nodded sourly, and he pulled me into his arms. I let him, but refused to hug him back. Jade's friends were still cat-calling and jeering, and I appreciated it when Jade turned his head and hollered at them to shut up. Maybe it was the tears, or because his voice cracked as he yelled, that made them stop. I didn't care, really; I just buried my face into Jade's jacket and apologised quietly.

"Don't be sorry.. You had every right to be mad at me. I've been nothing but a dick to you from the start."

"No-"

"Yes, Davey. I have. Don't even try to defend me. May I come over tonight? Just to.. Try to explain." he sighed heavily and shakily, and I held him tighter against me.

"You can. But don't stay." I mumbled, still trying to cling to some of the power I felt. He agreed that it was probably best for him to sleep at his house that night, and I nodded wearily, to tired to bother speaking. It was as though our shouting match had taken everything out of me.

***

"Forgive me?" he asked at the end of a day spent goofing off, of Jade constantly cuddling me close to him and refusing to speak to anyone else.

"Maybe." I replied, before walking away from the boy I'd often dreamed about.

Oh God, what is with me and a shitload of drama in my stories!?! It could quite possibly reflect my real life in an indirect way. This is my excuse for another long and annoying absence; I have been involved in tonnes of drama and other idiotic things that have just been a pointless waste of time at the end of the day. I'm attempting to re-activate myself here on Buzznet. I'm thinking of finishing off this story for the people who want to read the rest of it (if there's still anyone XD I don't blame you at all if you got bored and gave up on me) and then I might take a 'break' - I put the word in airquotes because I think - during this 'break' - I will go through every single thing I've posted on Buzznet and have a great big purge. In other words, I'm going to delete a tonne of things that I don't want on my page anymore. I did this to my YouTube account last night (www.youtube.com/trashmouthX) and get this -- I started with 126 videos. Now I have about 89 XD So expect a similar purge upon my Buzznet uploads.

Then, after that monumental task is done, I think I will sort my remaining files into different galleries. To be honest, I've never really bothered with galleries on here, so I will work on that so that my things are more accessible. Then I may, if you're all lucky, start up a new Javey. But I think I'll rest on it for now seeing as I almost abandoned this one halfway through. Finally, there will be a huge revamp on my page and I will release details of a new aspiration that if you've been reading my blog (www.shygirlslose.blogspot.com) you may have already heard about -- I mentioned it in passing a few times.

Anywhore, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I will get the next one to you ASAP. I'm making Buzznet one of my top cleaning-up priorities, now that my room is completely tidy XD I hope I don't disappear again -__-'